I’d like to introduce you to my friend Jane. Jane is quick witted, talented & a bloody good friend. She is one of those people who make you want to be a better person, without making you feel like crap in the process! Jane is an uber talented writer and is the face behind the massively successful Queenstown Life Blog . If you aren’t familiar with her work go and have a nosey, her voice is fresh, but familiar and her photographs are incredible. Last year, Jane gave birth to beautiful baby Wren. I felt like Jane had a story in her about motherhood, but perhaps her forum wasn’t the place for it. Mine on the other hand… all about that motherhood chat. So here is Janes story.
So I had a baby.
So what right? There’s so much more interesting going on in the world like poverty, that man we can’t name and a whole new social media tv channel. So much more right?
But then there’s so much more they didn’t tell me about it. So much to learn. So many things I wish I had known. Or do I?
I’m straight into it. No warning no “avert your eyes people”. We’re all adults and we were baby’s once so get over yourself. The mucus plug is what comes out prior to going into labour and NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT IT til about the day before it happened. Then “holy shit what is this?”.
Frozen Sanitary Towels
After a vaginal birth your bits are on the rather hot side. I don’t mean hot as in sexy (although I’m sure there’s a website out there for that) and so when someone mentioned frozen sanitary towels I an arrow went straight into my heart like someone had offered me the best gin and tonic on the worlds hottest day. Shazaaaam. If they offer you them (if you’re at the hospital) for god sake take them. And keep asking for them until they run out and have to make new ones. If you’re at home put them in the freezer in prep. They’re the magic unicorns are made from.
Yes yes everyone goes on about sleep deprivation but no-one prepares you for how completely messed up and fuzzy it makes your brain. Like jet lag turned up to a gazillion. For prep. Set your alarm for 1am and then EVERY TEN MINUTES AFTER until about 8am. And see how you feel. Add a crap diet, some massively hot boobs, a partner who also doesn’t know what they’re doing, forgetting to put your sanitary towels in the freezer and you’re about 5% there.
The crying. Oh the crying. There’s different crying though. Like 10000 types. The little mew like a kitten, the delayed ‘I bumped my head because I fell over’ scream, I’m starving crying (I wasn’t starving 4 seconds ago but now I’m starving like you haven’t fed me in 3 months), the pushing a poo out scream, the ‘my ears are sore and I want to deafen you’ cry.
Who knew that laughter and giggling could be so infectious. When they get over the dazed and confused bit of 3/4 months and the laughter and smiles start; oh man you’re a compete sucker to it. It’s infectious. Grown men weep in the street. It makes your soul well up in your chest and shout “this world is amazing” . Then you remember it’s Wednesday and its raining. And you’ve got puke all down your new shirt.
The sometimes wishing for your old life (and that’s ok)
I have a daydream every now and again about my old life. WTF did I do with all that time? I didn’t even get through books. I miss just getting up slowly out of my seat and just casually deciding to go to the cinema. To go for a run. To walk alone somewhere. Anywhere….that I miss.
It didn’t happen to me straight away (and that’s ok). The more (generally women) who I talk to agree and say the BURST didn’t happen for them until way down the road. It took me ten months to fall completely head over heels in love with my baby. I remember it. She got top teeth and couldn’t stop smiling at me. Grinning cheekily. BOOM. Heart exploded. So don’t worry if it doesn’t happen and there’s all those BS posts on Instagram about being ‘blessed’ with your baby. It’s fine. It’s ok. But if it doesn’t come at all please talk to someone. And keep talking until you find someone who helps you and is kind and helpful.
A great friend of mine (who is 7 months pregnant) just said “it’s like being sent to Mars. Having no knowledge of Mars. And then getting to Mars and being told you have to stay there. Forever. It’s totally true. It’s bonkers, it’s bizarre and it’s ok. Now where did I put my gin and tonic?
Jane, Thank you so much for sharing with us, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did xxx Jana